I had a dream last night that I was taking a college
Algebra class & was sitting in the room looking at the
equation showing on the overhead screen. I wrote down
exactly what I was seeing so that I could work out the
problem but when I looked at my paper, I couldn’t figure
out how to do it. I sat there for what felt like hours
watching the other students furiously scribbling out
the solution while my mind was a total blank. I remember
feeling so inadequate. A failure. Thinking to myself ‘if
I can’t work out the easy stuff, how am I ever going
to be able to tackle the more challenging ones!’
I sat quietly & still, waiting for the rest of the class to
finish their task so that the professor would then write
on the overhead how it was to be worked out. I felt that
if I copied each step shown on my paper, that I would
then be able to understand it and then be able to do
all the other math questions on my own. However, to
my shocked dismay… the professor asked a student how
to solve the problem and the student verbally told the
class the step by step instructions! I asked the professor
to please put it on the overhead so I could see how it
was worked out but he refused. Told me I had to figure it
out on my own. I felt so angry & upset at his response, told
him that he wasn’t doing his job as a teacher… ‘a guide’ and
then I stood up, told him I am dropping his class & left the
room.
When I woke up from the dream, I laid there in bed awhile
trying to figure out the meaning behind the symbolism. My
dreams almost always have meaning for me on a deeper level
and most of the time it’s easy to decipher but sometimes
it’s a challenge. It wasn’t long though until the light began
to dawn inside my mind as to what it meant. I have been
feeling this way about life in general lately. Like I have
been pushed into being human with out the benefit of having
been given a manual to navigate life with. That my team (call
them Guardian Angels, Spirit Guides, Masters, etc…) have
abandoned me. Left me high & dry.
There is some inner spark that tells me I have all the answers
inside but the human aspect of my trinity feels tool-less! Have
you ever felt this way?
